So week three is almost over and I still can’t believe it has been less than 21 days that I have been here. Everything is starting to look a little more familiar and I no longer get confused when I hear radio adverts that mention Manchester.
It’s funny how moving has given me the opportunity to evaluate what really matters to me, and realise things I placed such a high value on are completely worthless now. As much as I love and miss Norwich the things I find myself pining for are the people I left behind. I had all these plans in my head around how I can reinvent myself in a new place where no one knows me and I can be anything I want. I think after 6 years in one place you mould yourself into a certain way and that is how people know you and it is difficult to be anything or anyone else. Don’t misunderstood I am what I am (and what I am needs no excuses) but there are habits and routines we all conform to which are difficult to break free from and eventually become so ingrained you adopt them. This is when you become weary and tired trying to please people whose opinions don’t matter or bending over backwards unnecessarily because of the pressure put on you. Anyway after some stern words of advice from Jen Garner, I am under strict instructions not to be anyone’s doormat and to be more assertive. Unfortunately, if anything, I feel more soppy as there is this huge void where you guys who love, shape and grow me are no longer physically in my life. Unless you have been in the same situation this probably all sounds silly, and is difficult to explain, but I have a massively heavy heart due to the absence of the presence of you good Norfolk folk. As with all things, if one is not being true to ones self, it is only a matter of time before that is exposed and the pretences come crashing down. Jane Austin can summarise it perfectly for me, “I am particularly unlucky in meeting with a person so well able to expose my real character, in a part of the world, where I had hoped to pass myself off with some degree of credit”. It may amuse some of you to know that when answering the office phone to a patient, who is not on my caseload therefore never met me, told his care co-ordinator that I sounded like a very educated young lady! Maybe there is hope of passing myself off with some degree of credit?!
It’s funny how moving has given me the opportunity to evaluate what really matters to me, and realise things I placed such a high value on are completely worthless now. As much as I love and miss Norwich the things I find myself pining for are the people I left behind. I had all these plans in my head around how I can reinvent myself in a new place where no one knows me and I can be anything I want. I think after 6 years in one place you mould yourself into a certain way and that is how people know you and it is difficult to be anything or anyone else. Don’t misunderstood I am what I am (and what I am needs no excuses) but there are habits and routines we all conform to which are difficult to break free from and eventually become so ingrained you adopt them. This is when you become weary and tired trying to please people whose opinions don’t matter or bending over backwards unnecessarily because of the pressure put on you. Anyway after some stern words of advice from Jen Garner, I am under strict instructions not to be anyone’s doormat and to be more assertive. Unfortunately, if anything, I feel more soppy as there is this huge void where you guys who love, shape and grow me are no longer physically in my life. Unless you have been in the same situation this probably all sounds silly, and is difficult to explain, but I have a massively heavy heart due to the absence of the presence of you good Norfolk folk. As with all things, if one is not being true to ones self, it is only a matter of time before that is exposed and the pretences come crashing down. Jane Austin can summarise it perfectly for me, “I am particularly unlucky in meeting with a person so well able to expose my real character, in a part of the world, where I had hoped to pass myself off with some degree of credit”. It may amuse some of you to know that when answering the office phone to a patient, who is not on my caseload therefore never met me, told his care co-ordinator that I sounded like a very educated young lady! Maybe there is hope of passing myself off with some degree of credit?!
Anyway this is only a quick blog for those of you requesting information as I will hopefully see some of you this weekend!! I am SO excited to come and visit and see you all, it feels like it has been ages since I drove away in flood of tears!!
I don't have any particular comment but I read this and enjoyed it. : )
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