Further up and further in

“One time, when I was very little. I climbed a tree and ate these green, sour apples. My stomach swelled and became hard like a drum, it hurt a lot. Mother said that if I’d just waited for the apples to ripen, I wouldn’t have become sick. So now, whenever I really want something, I try to remember what she said about the apples” –  Khalid Hosseini, The Kite Runner

As I completed a quarter century of life it made me think what I really want from life. It hit home recently when I was filling something in and was no longer in the 18-24 age group. I have never been one of those people who get depressed on every birthday because life is passing me by and I'm not making the most of. Quite the contrary, I feel for my age I have done quite a lot and couldn't really ask for more. Well a year of work to go travelling and then have my job to go back to would be nice. Oh yea and the small detail of the finances to conduct such a trip. Anyway I digress. Now I am in the 25-34 bracket I wonder, should I be thinking of settling down, getting a mortgage and all those grown up things your head tells you that you should be doing?

2011 has already provided some classic memories (and ridiculous quotes) and it's only been 8 weeks. The 'Rural Retreat' in Stowlangtoft was brilliant, thank you girls, and my recent jaunt to Malaysia was definitely a trip of a lifetime. Thank you to all the Lim's for making it a truly wonderful and unforgettable experience. Being Chinese New Year one of the traditions involved the married people giving the single people money! In true Malaysian hospitality this extended to Arwen and I - being single has it's advantages! I'm waiting on photos which are on Heather's computer in Kuala Lumpur but will share some soon.

It's been brilliant having some of you guys come visit me, genuinely means a lot, I know I live quite far from you all now :( For those of you booked in to come, I hope you love Manchester as much as I do and those of you who have asked to come, and we have not yet found a mutually convenient date, I hope to post Jen and Ed's Wedding! I know some of you will be frustrated with me as I promised myself that I wouldn't let myself become as busy as I was in Norwich. I guess some habits are hard to break and before you know it all your evenings and weekends are filled with one thing and another. However rest assured that I am all good and enjoying life in a city (never thought I would say that!!) I even get accused of being 'posh' up here! I took some real coffee into work and was told I had been in the south too long and need to get back to my roots. As I struggle with my mongrel dialect and this weird mixture of north and south works itself out, I shall have to endure the torment of talking differently from the locals for a little longer!

I had an interesting conversation at the beginning of the year with a friend who has a small child. She had been trying to teach her son to ride a bike and was terrified to take of the stabilisers and let him learn the art of balance. How strange I thought, that somewhere down the line someone decided that three wheels was one too many, and although one can function perfectly well on three wheels, two would be much better. The phrase "I felt like a third wheel" implies that it is not needed and probably unwanted in certain situations, but is it really such a bad thing? 'Stability' in one form or another is a luxury we all strive for as there is a security found in having some stability in life .Imagine having no fixed abode, no sure way of knowing where your money is going to come from and thus food, clothes etc. Imagine having no structure to your day, ever. The novelty would soon wear of from having nothing to do all day or no one to see. Imagine having no friends, family, anyone to talk to or share life with. I know in my job it is a word banded around frequently and although people may not be living lives we would want for ourselves, for them sometimes the best we can work towards is a small amount of stability, whether this be in terms of practicalities or health. So with this in mind how did we derive that our children have to go through this terrifying (for parents) and exciting (for the child) experience of exploring the world on two wheels? How do we know as a parent that it is time to let loose a part of yourself to endure what is almost certain pain and potential broken bones? Not being a parent myself I have no answer to this question but can only assume like most things in parenthood you just know. The rewards of riding a bicycle and the speed and freedom it offers outweighs the risk of pain and ridicule that is inevitable if you are a teenager riding a tricycle! After a period  of deliberation, and pestering from the child, the time comes to go to the local park or school field, armed with screw driver and camera ready to complete this rite of passage.

For any child with an older sibling this process of loosing their stabilisers and riding a 'grown ups' bike can not come soon enough as they try to prove themselves to their big brother/sister. However, there has to be a period of patience before they endeavour this encounter or they would be set up to fail. No one likes waiting for something they really want (please correct me if you disagree) but normally it is for our own good and in the long run for the best.

“Of all the hardships a person had to face, none was more punishing than the simple act of waiting” - Khaled Hosseini,  A 1000 splendid suns

Glossary update

barms - cobs aka baps/rolls

pots - dishes, as in "I'm going to wash the pots"

tough-ee - sweets, "anyone want a toughee?"